I (33F) will not give my husband (33M) gift cards.


You all want to know about this predicament I'm in with my partner and these gift cards, don't you? Alright, allow me to clarify for everyone. Here I am with my partner, 33 years old, and we have been dating for a short while. We're good most of the time, but things get a little complicated when it comes to giving them gift cards.

Let me tell you now, I'm not selfish or anything of the sort. Sharing my stuff with my partner is fine with me, but those gift cards—that's a whole other story. As you can see, I tend to use gift cards on items I really desire, like new shoes or a day at the spa. You know, it's my treat to myself. However, it seems like my partner doesn't understand it when he wants to utilize my gift card.

He's always attempting to take my gift cards and complaining that because we're married, the money is all in one pot. But that's not how I see things. I want to utilize my gift cards however I see fit because I worked hard to get them. He can't just expect me to hand them over in that manner.

I have repeatedly informed him that those gift cards are mine, not his. Purchasing anything for him using our joint funds is fine with me, but I have a limit on those gift cards. To me, it seems like a matter of principle. I should be able to enjoy the gift cards I got from them.

But my man, it seems like he doesn't get it. He is persistently pleading with me to give him the gift cards. He doesn't seem to respect my boundaries or my desires. And trust me when I say that that doesn't sit well with me.

I've tried everything to explain it to him, but it's like talking to a brick wall. All he wants is not to hear it. He always accuses me of being stingy and self-centered, but I don't see it that way at all. I'm just advocating for who I am and my values.

I even made an attempt to make amends with him by offering to use the gift cards to make purchases for the two of us. He's not having it, though. He desires to keep the gift cards for himself. And in my opinion, that is blatantly insulting.

I have therefore made up my mind. No matter how much my partner begs or pleads, I ain't sharing gift cards with him. It's about honoring my decisions and boundaries. And perhaps we should have a real discussion about our relationship and what it means to respect each other if he is unable to accomplish that.

Ultimately, those gift cards may not seem like much to other people, but I see it as an issue of respect and morality. I should be allowed to enjoy them without feeling compelled or guilty to share them with my partner because I earned them justly. That is all there is to it.

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